A Friend In Deed

Two weeks ago, a dear friend of mine sent me an early morning email that was exactly what I needed. She's one of those friends who has known me long enough to love me anyway, despite the fact that I almost never call and rarely visit. We've been roommates in more than one country, seen each other through boyfriends who turned out not to be husbands, stood together at weddings and a funeral. 

I don't know what I did to deserve her, but I'm so very grateful. In fact, I could never have earned all the wonderful friends that I have -- and thank goodness we don't have to earn them. This particular message was too beautiful to leave in my inbox, so I'm sharing it here with you (names changed to protect her boys). May you all have a friend (or two or twenty) who can show you in small ways that she loves you. 

***

Some days you just need someone else to make your coffee. Or tea. Or, Jonah's recommendation, chocolate milk.

I must feel that way often. At least, Starbucks has been keeping track because, to my surprise (though perhaps not my husband's), they sent me a gold card which meant I had visited their fine establishments 30 times last year. I don't know whether to be boast or cringe about my new status. Regardless, there were 30 days last year when I just needed someone else to make my coffee.

Two times had to do with rites of passage. Right after I dropped Cam off to big kid school because the bricks I placed on his head didn't stop him from growing, I drove myself to Starbucks and stood in line behind a mom and dad who had just undergone the very same knife-to-heart ritual. That day called for a Venti, with extra caramel and yes please some whipped cream on top and why don't you stock alcohol here?

Weeks ago, I stood in that same line -- where they now know my name and my usual -- just minutes before picking him up for summer vacation. Not my usual, but it was a Venti day again, somewhat in celebration that Cam and I would be back together for the summer. But mostly because I needed that big of a cup to soothe my insides drained raw from a year of missing him. It was a "Whew, I can't believe I made it. I'll have a Venti."

During these 30 visits over the last year, Jonah became well acquainted with the love of someone else making mama's coffee. The benefit to him was a more aware and relaxed mama. As I market the deal
to my husband, it's cheaper than therapy. And sometimes at these visits, on the whims of mama, Jonah would score a milk, usually vanilla but once in a while, chocolate.

Even if all mama gets is a straight coffee, Jonah likes to be hoisted up in a spot right beside the sugar-in-the-raw cubby where he can peer behind the counter and "watch the magic happen." His word choice has won him many barista friends. Also a dead giveaway that mama saved on therapy 30 times in the last year.

Well today, with your dad having his procedure, I thought you just might need someone else to make your coffee. Or tea. Or I won't tell if you get chocolate milk. I hope it will soothe your insides and let
you know that you all are loved. This Venti's on me*; after all, I need to keep going to maintain my gold card status.

* Starbucks e-card will be coming to your inbox.

***

That afternoon, while my kids were at camp, I left work early and headed for Starbucks. I'm not a coffee girl, so I seriously considered Jonah's chocolate milk recommendation before opting for a fruit smoothie. Dropping into a sunny seat, I savored the sweetness of a rare moment alone to say a quiet prayer for my dad (who is fine, thanks for asking) and one for my friend (who is far too good to me). 

Mother's Day Gifts

It was the verbal equivalent of the old yawn and stretch maneuver that you see a teen-age boy use in 1950s movies to inconspicuously put his arm around a girl’s shoulder.

“So… mom… What’s your favorite breakfast?” he asked casually on Tuesday night. “I mean, if you didn’t have to make it.”

When I started to tell Junius my preferences -- two eggs over medium, bacon, fruit, maybe half an English muffin -- he asked me if I could write it down. You know, casually.

"No," I replied with a smile. "But you can."

The conversation continued as he carefully wrote down my breakfast menu, then moved on to asking about my favorite restaurants for dinner. You know, just because, no reason. Not like Mother's Day is coming up or anything.

When he finished writing, he folded the paper in half, turned away from me to write "Mothers day" with three underlines on the outside and took the page upstairs.

It was about the cutest conversation I've had with my son in a long time. Even if he doesn't manage to use the list (although I suspect my lovely husband will help make it happen), watching him delight in his sneaky strategy to be nice to me was a gift in itself.

For those of you wondering what to get your mom (or the mother of your children) to celebrate her day on Sunday, here's my suggestion: Think luxury.

I don't mean a luxury automobile or a luxury vacation (although if that's within your budget, those are totally good options). Instead, think of the little luxuries that mom wishes she had time/money for and give her the means to enjoy them -- even if that little luxury is her favorite homemade breakfast or just a quiet hour alone in the hammock with a good book and iced cocktail.

But if you really want to be impressive, here are my suggestions of everyday luxuries I'd love to have in my weekly or monthly budget -- and I'm betting lots of other moms would, too:

1. Housekeeper: There's nothing better than coming home to a clean house when you didn't have to do any of the work. Okay, maybe coming home to a clean house where the maid service didn't turn on your gas fireplace and leave it burning when they left the house hours earlier -- but that's a different story. Anywho, even if it were just an occasional deep clean, it's always nice to enjoy your house without having to think about the mess.
2. Car wash: I hate a dirty car. And with two kids (plus the occasional friend) in the back seat every day, there’s no way to keep all the dirt on the outside. Between the raisins and the tissues and the string cheese wrappers and the leaves and the mud and… well, it’s gross back there. Plus all this springtime pollen makes a mess of the outside, too. A clean car just feels more civilized.
3. Massage: Even when things are going well, life can be stressful and exhausting. Between keeping up a more regular exercise schedule, working at a desk and generally chasing my children around, I’d love an hour – okay, maybe 90 minutes – to close my eyes, listen to soothing (if a little cheesy) nature-sounds music and let go of the stress. 
4. Mani/pedi: I love a pretty polish (especially on my toes), but this one isn’t really about having colorful nails. It’s more about having healthy-looking (and feeling) hands and feet. Again, between the exercising and the dish-washing, my extremities get a little rough. And it’s just so nice to be taken care of by someone who doesn’t need anything from me. 
5. Haircut: If you have short hair, you know that you really need to get it cut at least every six weeks. I try to stretch it to seven or eight weeks to conserve cash, but I always hate my hair that last week or two. If money and scheduling were no object, I’d get a haircut once a month. That way it always looks fresh – and I’d look like I just stepped out of a salon more often.
6. Fresh flowers: Even if my house isn't really clean, it looks cleaner if there are fresh flowers by the front door and on the dining room table. It's like I can't even see the piles on the counter or the dishes in the sink when there's a vase of white hydrangeas in view. Shoes scattered around the foyer seem to fade away if I'm greeted by a wildflower bouquet. They don't have to be formal or fancy, just fresh. 

Let us know what's on your little luxuries list... leave a note in the comments.

Friday's 5: Quirky Children's Books

Last week I suggested that you include books in your kids' Easter baskets. But if you haven't yet found what you were looking for, I've got you a new list of five.

Today's list includes some quirky books, most of which I've been giving recently for birthday gifts. Hopefully my friends (and their children, of course) are appreciating my selections -- if not, well, at least I had a grand time reading them all at the book store.

1. The Busy Beaver by Nicholas Oldland: "A clueless beaver discovers the impact his actions have on others." Hilarious illustrations ensue.
2. The Little Bit Scary People by Emily Jenkins and Alexandra Boiger: Sometimes people who look scary on the outside -- like teenagers and police officers -- are really actually nice people on the inside. 
3. Mr. Prickles: A Quill-Fated Love Story by Kara LaReau and Scott Magoon: The old joke about how do porcupines make love is spun into a G-rated version, with a little bit of a dark side. Plus there's a character named Miss Pointypants.
4. I Want My Hat Back by Jon Klassen: A little mystery, a little vengeance, a little irreverence. What more could you want in a children's book about a bear who can't find his hat?
5. One Cool Friend by Toni Buzzeo and David Small: Elliott asks for a penguin at the aquarium. His father agrees, but fails to specify that he meant a toy. Oops.

Have any favorite odd ones on your kid reading list to share?

Books for Your Baskets

My friend Julie, who writes about ways to Simplify Your Life, posted tips this week about how to declutter your Easter basket.

I'm totally on board with her plan. Well, totally except for the part where I already bought those bunny rabbit glasses from the Target dollar bin because they are just ridiculously cute. But other than that, I'm TOTALLY on board.

What I really love about Julie's Easter basket list is that she doesn't recommend any candy -- which my kids get plenty of from school and who knows where else. Instead, she suggests giving BOOKS!

So after you read Julie's post and you're looking for book ideas, here are some of my past posts recommending children's books that are Junius and Pippi approved:

• Books for Pippi
• Books that make us giggle
• More books from the library
• Books to enjoy
• Non-fancy books
• Strong girl books
• Sweet children's stories
• Funny books for bedtime
• Helen's books
• Donaldson and Scheffler
• Pippi's reading list
• Musical kids 'books
• Girl reads
• Classic children's books
• Children's books for the stage
• First favorite five

Leave a note in the comments to share some of your favorite books for kids or your favorite non-candy items to include in Easter baskets.

Recipe: Marbled Chocolate Treats

If you get this holiday treat from me, pretend you don't know how crazy easy it is to make. Over the years, I've slightly modified this recipe from Kraft -- a tasty and simple treat that makes a pretty gift to share with teachers, friends and neighbors. Assuming, of course, that my husband and children don't eat them all before I get them out of the house.


Marbled Chocolate Treats

Ingredients:

• 10 honey grahams, broken in half (20 squares) 
• 6 squares semi-sweet baking chocolate 
• 1/2 cup creamy peanut butter (optional)
• 3 squares premium white baking chocolate 

Directions:

1. Line 13x9-inch pan with foil, with ends of foil extending over sides of pan. Arrange grahams on bottom of pan, cutting as needed to completely cover bottom of pan; set aside. 
2. Microwave semi-sweet chocolate and peanut butter (optional) in medium microwaveable bowl on HIGH 1-1/2 to 2 min. or until chocolate is completely melted when stirred, stirring every 30 sec. Stir until well blended. Pour over grahams; spread with spatula to cover completely. 
3. Repeat microwave melting steps with the white chocolate. Drop spoonfuls of the white chocolate over chocolate-covered grahams. Immediately cut through the chocolate mixtures with knife several times for tiger-stripe effect. 
4. Refrigerate at least 1 hour or until firm. Use foil handles to remove dessert from pan. Peel off foil. Break dessert into bars. Store in tightly covered container in refrigerator. 

Friday's Five: Baby Things

When I was pregnant with Junius, I made the obligatory trip to Babies 'R Us to set up a gift registry. I walked in, scanned the store from the doorway, turned around and walked back to my car. Totally overwhelmed. A few weeks later I went back with my neighbor (and mom of two, at the time), who kindly held my hand and showed me what I really needed and what to ignore.

And believe me, there's a LOT of stuff to ignore. But here are five things I wish I'd had when Juni was a baby -- some of them I discovered with Pippi, others I never got, and the list is probably different for every mommy.

1. Ergo carrier: I used the Baby Bjorn with both of mine, which was great, but they got too big too quickly. This carrier (which I borrowed from a friend to use with Pip) is awesome. Goes on the front or back and holds up to 40 lbs (not that you'd want to be wearing anyone that heavy for very long). For several months, it was the only way I could get Pippi to take a nap, but it worked like a charm.
   
   
2. Mally bibs: Invented by a mom (of course), these bibs are made of the same soft leather as Robeez-style shoes. You wipe it off, so no need for laundry -- and the clip is a magnet, so you just stick it on the fridge to dry. Genius and cute (see photo).
   
   
3. Bumbo seat: I always saw these in stores and wondered about them, but never had one. Then my mom got one to use at her house and I was so sorry I hadn't bought one earlier. It's a great way to help a baby sit up when she can hold up her own head, but doesn't yet have the balance to sit on her own. Particularly nice to have for a second baby.
   
   
4. Snap-in stroller frame: The "travel system" with the big stroller and infant car seat seemed like such a good idea, and I certainly got a lot of use out of mine. But in retrospect, I wish I'd gotten the lightweight stroller frame to use with the infant seat instead. Then, when your baby outgrows the infant seat, just get a nice umbrella-style stroller (I like this one) that is easier to use and takes up less space in the trunk.
   
   
5. Pacie clips: I cannot count the number of times we lost Juni's pacifier. If only I had thought to get something to clip to his shirt. Thank goodness a friend sent an adorable pacie clip for Pippi when she was born. We used it so much it literally fell apart, so I ordered some new ones off Etsy -- whatever your style, someone makes a clip to match.

Note: As usual, no incentives were sent to entice me to write about these products. Apparently, despite the fact that *you* are reading my blog, the mommy-marketers haven't found me yet.

Friday's Five: Baby Gifts

Right now I have four friends who are pregnant (that I know of) and three more with newborns, so I've got baby gifts on the brain. What new mommies need most would be some prepared meals, time to sleep and a chance to take an uninterrupted shower -- not necessarily in that order.

But if you're not close enough to your friend to help with those things, here are five of my favorite gifts to give to new babies (and their mamas) to celebrate their births:

1. Robeez: These shoes, which come in a million adorable designs and colors, are a great alternative to socks for the first year. And unlike socks, they actually stay on babies' feet. If you order them here, you get free shipping (and free socks with some orders). Other cute options are Bobux, Pediped, Treadders, and Pedoodles. I usually give them in a 6-12 month size so that they fit a little longer.
   
   
2. Hooter Hiders: These nursing covers are also sold under the brand Bebe au Lait, but I think Hooter Hiders is much funnier. They come in lots of beautiful fabrics and are even sold at my local Target. This cover allowed me to comfortably nurse Pippi in nearly every restaurant in Greensboro when she was a newborn (since I wasn't doing much cooking). A wonderful gift for the nursing mom, it can also be used as a sunshade for a baby in a front carrier.
   
   
3. Kids Music CD: You already know about the kids music I like best (go Big Bang Boom!), so check that list for ideas -- it's particularly good for second (or third or fourth) babies because their older siblings can join in the dance party. If you're looking for lullabies, I recommend "It's a Big World" by Renee and Jeremy. Junius listens to it nearly every night, but Daddy and I love it too -- simple, sweet and beautiful.
   
   
4. Angel Dear Blankie: Babies love something soft to snuggle with at bedtime. And if it can't be mommy (and please, sometimes mommy just needs a break), it ought to be one of these super soft loveys. We have "Max" (puppy) and "Lulu" (pink bunny) at our house, and my kids love them so much that we ended up getting a back-up version of each in case we lost one. If we had a third (and we're not, by the way), I'd get the blue hippo and name him "Clive."
   
   
5. Aveeno BabyCare: Sometimes the best gifts are the most practical ones, especially when it's for a family that already has clothes and things handed down from an older sibling. I love the Aveeno lotions and bathwashes -- the lavender products smell lovely and they're great for sensitive skin (or babies with mild eczema, like mine). If you order them along with some diapers, Tylenol or Mylicon from diapers.com, you can get free shipping direct to the house.
   

National Teacher Day

In addition to being Cinco de Mayo (in case you needed an excuse for a Corona), Tuesday is also National Teacher Day and part of Teacher Appreciation Week. As a community service message for my former colleagues, I'd like to take this opportunity to say two things:

1. You really don't have to buy anything for your teachers (most of them don't need another apple-shaped coffee mug, unless it comes loaded with a Starbucks gift card). But bringing in some flowers from your yard or a container of cookies is always a nice idea.
   
   
2. Teaching is a rough job, and it's really easy for a teacher to get overwhelmed by the bad things and forget about the good things. If there's a teacher in your life -- past or present -- who had a positive impact, take a few minutes today to let him or her know.
   

I was a high school teacher for four years -- it was, in some ways, as exhausting and incredible as being a parent. Now that I've been out of teaching for nearly a decade (where does the time go?!), I have special memories (and occasional nightmares) of my time in the classroom. I also still have treasured notes from former students and their parents (including my signed yearbooks) that remind me of the good things I did while I was there.

So for National Teacher Day 2009, give a teacher a good memory instead of a mug.

Friday's Favorite Five

If you're looking for ways to use digital photos to make gifts (hint, hint...Mother's Day is in 3 weeks) or just want something to do with the 42 million pictures stored on your computer, here are some good picture projects and my favorite sites for each (from simplest to most involved):

1. Postcards @ Winkflash: The quickest, easiest way to use your photos is to print postcards with one photo on each card. Most sites offer lots of borders and other options, but I like just using a single picture that fills the card with a glossy finish. You can print messages or addresses on the back of the card, or just leave them blank. I like to print a picture of my children at their birthday party, then use the cards for thank you notes. You can print multiple copies of the same photo or get an assortment. At Winkflash, the prices are low and they always seem to send me more than I ordered, but only charge me for the number I selected. Bonus!
   
   
2. Notecards @ Winkflash: Almost as simple as postcards, the notecard set is great to have on hand or give as a gift and so much more fun to use than generic cards. Again, I think simple is best -- one full photo per card and you can't go wrong. With Winkflash, you can order the exact number you need instead of having to order sets of 12. Envelopes are included.
   
   
3. Holiday cards @ Winkflash: Okay, so you're noticing a theme here. For my money, Winkflash is the best for card printing because I like to just use my photos (no borders or other designs) so that they work for anyone -- no worrying about getting Christmas cards for Christians, Hannukah cards for Jews and so on. If you want better designs, go to PhotoWorks (see below). But the other advantage with Winkflash is that you can print your message directly into the card -- no extra printing, folding and stuffing of holiday letters. I usually get the 5x7 size card so that I can put more than one photo on the front and have enough space inside for our annual update. And you can order the exact number you need instead of having to order in sets of 25. Envelopes are included.
   
   
4. Calendars @ PhotoWorks: Lots of photo sites have calendars, but the nicest ones I've found are at this site. They have multiple sizes and styles (sample above), and the quality of the printing and materials is better than the rest. They've also recently added a perpetual calendar for keeping track of birthdays and anniversaries -- I've been wanting one for ages, so that's my next project.
   
   
5. Photo books @ Shutterfly: When I was pregnant with Pippi, this became my addiction. I "nested" by becoming my own little yearbook staff for baby Juni pictures -- but way better than when I was actually on the high school yearbook staff because it didn't require a typewriter, scissors and glue (our kids will never understand that "cut & paste" was a literal thing before it became virtual on computers, but I digress). Of all the sites I tried, Shutterfly was the best combination of design options, ease of use and quality final product. One tip: Don't try to work in Mozilla Firefox; for some reason, Shutterfly is happiest in Explorer.

With all three sites, watch for sales and online coupons -- they all have good ones regularly and it can really make a difference. If you're interested, subscribe to their e-mailing list so you know when they're having specials.

Happy designing!