#WeAreNotThis

In case you missed it, the Pope is on Instagram now. Pretty sure he's just copying my favorite @circuspadre, but it works. Today, for Good Friday, he posted a photo from outside the Colosseum in Rome with this caption: "Everything in these three days speaks of mercy."

If only the North Carolina General Assembly would speak with mercy this week.

Instead, their legislative voice spoke only of fear and discrimination as they went into special session on Wednesday and voted to (among other things) prohibit cities from passing nondiscrimination laws, exclude groups of citizens from protection against discrimination in North Carolina and ban transgendered people from using public bathrooms that correspond to their gender identity.

As I binged through Twitter and Facebook yesterday (see #WeAreNotThis), searching for some reasonable answer as to why my state legislature has its head up its collective ass, I found nothing to help -- although this clip from John Oliver at least made me feel less alone. Then I saw a post from my friend Mamie, who happens to be a Presbyterian minister and a generally fabulous person. Although she no longer lives in North Carolina, she's still very much a Tar Heel -- and she's still fighting for those of us who are here.

With her permission, I'm sharing her post with you here. It's a letter she's sending to the CEOs and consumer affairs divisions of NC-based companies who have not yet spoken out publicly against the ridiculous discriminatory laws passed this week.

***

As a Tarheel born and bred, I have been horrified to see the changes happening in my home state. Living now, as I do, away from North Carolina, I see the pity and concern people have for those who are “unfortunate” enough to live in a state wracked by hate and discrimination, evidenced publicly by the repugnant actions taken by the current legislature. Any doubt remaining as to their oppressive intentions were put to rest yesterday when House Bill 2 passed into law with the signature of Gov. McCrory. The law goes well beyond its name and supposed intent to monitor bathrooms around the state. It takes away local protections for LGBTQ citizens, veterans and pregnant women as well as flaunts the desire of our forebears to be free of discrimination because of religion.

You have no doubt seen the threat that Walt Disney Studios has made to leave the state of Georgia if it passes a bill not unlike HB 2, and my neighboring state of Indiana lost 12 conventions and $60 million dollars after passing their “Religious Freedom Restoration Act” -- a law much closer to that just passed by North Carolina than its name would imply. The economic growth and prosperity of the state is now under threat, as is the reputation of any company who chooses North Carolina as its home. Red Hat CEO and President Jim Whitehurst, Biogen and Dow Public Policy all spoke out against this bill on the day it was hastily introduced. American Airlines, Wells Fargo and even the NCAA are concerned about this legalized discrimination. You can join their chorus in continued pressure to change the law so that equality and fairness are not undermined in North Carolina.

You are a leader in industry in the state, and as such, I urge you to speak out in favor of diversity and justice and against the codification of fear and weakness. Being based in North Carolina, your name and balance sheet are also on the line, and any silence you choose will speak. Your ability to attract a full-range of highly qualified, critical thinking, flexible and compassionate work force will be damaged by this law, and no tax breaks are worth diminishing the humanity of others. Please make the weight of your voice heard by the legislators and the people of North Carolina.

***

Everything in these three days speaks of mercy.

Todo, en estos tres días, habla de la misericordia. 

Tutto, in questi tre giorni, parla di misericordia.

Tudo, nestes três dias, fala de misericórdia.

Au cours de ces trois jours, tout parle de miséricorde.

To Teachers, With Love

The 11^th grade students who were in my class during my first year as a high school English teacher are now in their mid-30s. Most of them I lost touch with after they graduated, but a handful kept up with me over the years or found me later on Facebook. A few were in college in the same program where I attended graduate school, passing me in the halls now and then. A couple are still on my Christmas card list.

Earlier this month, as I got in line to pay for my pre-snowstorm eggs and milk, I ran into one of those former students, now a mother of two and a teacher herself. We hugged each other and laughed about how we were both buying groceries in advance of the snow predictions.

“Have you met M before?” she asked, motioning to the man behind her.

“I don’t think I have,” I said, introducing myself to her husband and shaking his hand.

“No, this is S__,” she said to him, emphasizing the name they called me back in 11^th grade.

His eyes brightened with recognition and he pulled me into a bear hug. He knew who I was – and in a good way. He knew my name, 18 years after she was in my class.

That afternoon, she posted a sweet note on Facebook about our chance meeting. When I went online to “like” her post, another former student – one that I hadn’t kept up with – had already left a comment: “Wow! She was a great teacher!”

I almost printed it out and framed it for my wall.

Today, North Carolina’s governor announced a 14 percent pay increase over the next two years for beginning teachers, bringing starting teacher salaries above those of neighboring states. The plan sounds like a good start, but doesn’t offer anything for mid-career and veteran teachers already in the classroom. That may help with recruitment, but it doesn’t do much to retain or respect teachers in the trenches -- teachers who haven't had a real raise in more than five years.

Most teachers will tell you they didn’t go into the profession for the paycheck – it’s not exactly news that teaching isn’t a lucrative career (click here for the 2013-14 salary schedule in NC). But it is a profession – one that requires a college degree, licensing exams and coursework for continued certification. And it’s a job path that ought to provide a living that doesn’t include qualifying for federal aid programs to feed your children.

So while we wait for our policy makers to find the will – and the funds – to pay teachers what they’re worth, we can all show a little love to the teachers who have made a difference. You may not have the chance to run into them at the grocery store or on Facebook, but you can still thank them for all that they do.

Over the past couple weeks, teachers (and those who love them) have turned to Twitter using #evaluatethat to share the many ways – big and small – that teachers make a difference in students’ lives. The hashtag takes a swipe at the notion that standardized tests and evaluation formulas can assess a teacher’s quality and effectiveness.

Take a moment to tweet your own #evaluatethat story, write a note to your child’s teacher, or track down that educator who made a difference for you. Feeling appreciated and valued won’t help teachers pay their bills, but it sure still feels good – even 18 years later.

Moral Monday: Paying for Good Schools

In my previous job, I had the good fortune to find myself often attending meetings with Dudley Flood. You can read his full bio here, but he's served in a range of education roles from 8th grade teacher to associate superintendent for the NC Department of Public Instruction, where he retired in 1990. He holds degrees in education from NC Central University, East Carolina University and Duke University. In short, he's got the credentials and the experience to know what he's talking about when it comes to education.

But beyond his resume, Dr. Flood is a great storyteller -- and he weaves a fascinating tale of what he's seen over decades of involvement in public education. One of my favorite comments that I recall hearing in his speeches goes something like this:

People always say you can't just throw money at a problem. But just once, I'd like to try it out and see what happens.

That's what I want to say to our state legislature this week, as they prepare to pass a budget that strips ever more funding away from our public schools. Actually, what I really want to say to them isn't fit to print, so I'll just start with that.

Now of course, I don't actually mean throw the money. I don't mean like a pinata where the kids scramble to stuff their pockets with loose change.

What I mean is this: What would happen if we funded public education so that:

• Teachers were paid as true professionals, particularly those with graduate degrees and extensive experience, to demonstrate the value of the job?
• Schools were built to comfortably seat all the students and provide adequate teaching space for all classes?
• Schools struggling to meet students' needs got extra assistance, including instructional coaches, literacy specialists and customized professional development for all faculty and staff?
• Classes were small enough for teachers to be able to differentiate instruction and really address students' needs, or teacher assistants staffed most classrooms to supplement instruction and help manage the workload?

I want to know what that would look like. I want my tax dollars to go toward making those things happen. I want to live in a state that makes those kind of commitments.

But instead, North Carolina gets a General Assembly that:

• Eliminates salary increases for teachers with advanced degrees starting in 2014 and teachers have only had one pay increase (a measly 1.2%) since 2008. Because why would you want to encourage and reward educators for pursuing more education? They're only teaching your children, after all.
• Argues to remove building authority from local school boards, threatening the passage of upcoming school bonds (thankfully it appears this bill is dead, although it's had more lives than a cat).
• Funds a $10 million voucher program (in the first year) to give some families "a way out" to leave for private schools without addressing any of the problems or challenges facing students and teachers in the public schools left behind.
• Removes caps on class sizes and eliminates teacher assistants in 2nd and 3rd grades. If you've ever been the only adult in a room with 30 seven-year-olds for more than an hour, you know this is a bad idea.

It may be true that throwing money around won't fix anything. But depriving schools of the basics needed to get the job done sure as hell doesn't solve anything either.

Instead, targeting money at real solutions could make a world of difference: Ensuring teachers earn enough money that their children don't qualify for medicaid, constructing facilities that get students out of trailers and into well-equipped classrooms, coaching schools in research-based practices to make them more effective at reaching every child, creating environments that encourage learning and generate productive working conditions.

That's not throwing money around -- that's called investing.

Moral Monday: Safe Schools

I wasn't at yesterday's Moral Monday rally. But that doesn't mean I'm not outraged. Unfortunately, much of what I'm worked up about won't fit on a protest sign. Starting this week, I'm going to attempt a Monday post in solidarity with those protesting at the NC legislature -- I realize it's not the same as getting arrested for the cause, but at least it's something.

So much in education policy seems to fall according to political lines. Democrats want more funding; Republicans want more competition. Democrats claim schools are doing well; Republicans claim schools are failing. Democrats want to believe that the latest big idea will save public schools; Republicans want to close them all down.

Okay, that's a wild exaggeration. But you get the idea.

The sad thing is that I honestly believe most Republicans and Democrats -- and the Independents and unaffiliated -- want the same big-picture things when it comes to public education. Safe schools. Quality instruction. Graduates with marketable skills.

Of course, the devil is in the details.

When I hear my state legislature talk about placing armed security guards in schools at the same time they want to cut teacher assistant positions from the budget and increase class sizes, I know they've completely missed the point. You simply can't cut teacher and teacher assistant positions and claim to want safe schools.

For a moment, let's forget about the academic, social or emotional reasons why you might want your young child to be in a elementary classroom with, say, 20 classmates, a licensed teacher and a licensed teacher assistant -- forget about the opportunities for enrichment or additional support. And forget about the professional reasons why you might want a teacher to have working conditions that don't include managing, say, 28 six-year-olds without any additional staff.

For a moment, let's just think about this in terms of security. Having more teachers in the classroom helps keep children safe.

In catastrophic situations, teacher assistants make it possible to protect more children. Think back to some of the horrific school tragedies of the past year in places like Newtown, Connecticut, or Moore, Oklahoma, where teachers, counselors and administrators risked their own lives to protect the children in their schools.

One of the recurring thoughts for me as I read all the stories of heroism shining out on those unspeakably dark days is, "How do you decide?" If you're the teacher in those classrooms, how do you decide which kids you can hold onto in the storm or which ones you can hide in the closet while the school is in lockdown.

Extreme? Sure, and thankfully so. But it's still our reality.

Even under more ordinary circumstances -- ones where students are misbehaving, bullying or (in today's softer parenting language) simply "making bad choices" -- teacher assistants make a difference for security. It can be challenging for teachers to ensure that all students feel safe when it's a large class and there's no teacher assistant.

Another professional adult who also knows the students well -- not just a parent volunteer (as great as they can be) -- makes it possible for one teacher to address the threat while the other adult continues to lead the class. Anytime you can have another set of eyes, ears and hands in the classroom, every child is safer.

So here's my proposal for the Republican-led legislature and Governor's office as they hash out this proposed budget... Remember all that talk about wanting to ensure that our schools are safe places to learn? How about you connect that rhetoric with your speeches about job creation and start by finding funds to hire even more teacher assistants to help staff North Carolina's classrooms.

On School Buildings and Why You Should Care

Powerful teaching and learning.

That's what I want my children to experience at school. That's what I want all children and teachers to experience at school. That's what I want the school board to focus on.

So if what I want is a Board of Education talking about powerful teaching and learning, then why do I care if my local school board retains control of school buildings? Because school facilities cannot be separated from academics -- an adequate and appropriate learning environment is a critical element of student success.

Senate Bill 236, sponsored by Sens. Neal Hunt (Wake), Tom Apodaca (Henderson) and Pete Brunstetter (Forsyth), would give county commissioners the authority to assume responsibility for the design, construction, maintenance, renovation, acquisition and ownership of school properties. Currently in North Carolina's 100 counties, the county board of commissioners provides the funding for school property purchases and construction (because they possess taxing authority and the school board does not), but the county board of education is responsible for the design, construction and ownership of school facilities. This divide, sometimes awkward and often contentious, is unusual -- more than 90 percent of school districts in the nation have fiscal independence (meaning they have taxing authority to fund their own budget).

The proposed legislation would allow all North Carolina county commissions to seize property currently owned by school boards --some county commissions might take advantage of that option now (as appears to be the case in Wake County), while others could decline for now and exercise the right at any point in the future.

I'm writing from the perspective of a Wake County resident (the bill started in the fight between the school board and the county commission in Wake), but this proposed legislation makes it an issue for the entire state. Here's why this bill is a bad idea:

• School buildings are about education, not real estate. Numerous studies have demonstrated the link between student achievement/behavior and the physical building conditions for students and teachers. Everything from lighting and paint to ventilation and HVAC impacts student success in a school. Think that sounds crazy? Imagine how effective you'd be at work if your office roof leaked onto your desk, your work space was too cramped to be functional, the heat stopped working and you had no access to natural light all day. Each student will spend more than 16,000 hours in these buildings before graduation -- teachers and principals will spend many more than that over their careers. They deserve dynamic spaces that encourage growth, creativity and intellect, not another obstacle to success.
• Education decisions aren't business decisions. Sen. Hunt likes to argue that business people do a better job of managing real estate decisions than educators do -- and he has some lovely (but misleading) pie charts to show his analysis of the level of business experience on county commissions versus school boards. But schools are in the business of educating children, not making profits and paying shareholders. School boards must be fiscally responsible, but student achievement should be their bottom line. I don't want the cheapest school possible; I want the best educational environment for my money. Even the Greater Raleigh Chamber of Commerce -- an entire organization of business people -- is opposed to this bill. And because county commissions already control the purse strings in North Carolina, they don't need this bill to manage the money.
• Experience matters. The Wake County Public School System (WCPSS) is an award-winning district when it comes to building design -- including nods from the American Institute of Architects (AIA) and the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA). Decades of experience inform the school board policy that defines design guidelines for school construction to ensure an effective learning environment, including everything from windows in classrooms to the size of science labs. School boards -- the elected officials closest to the classroom -- are in the best position to understand the complex requirements for a successful school. The county commissioners do not have a similarly strong track record with large building projects on this scale.
• The user, not the owner assumes liability. There are unanswered questions in the proposed legislation around liability issues. The county commission wants the option to assume ownership, but they do not appear eager to assume any liability related to the buildings or the property. Because of the vagueness of the bill (whether intentional or not), school boards would still be liable for incidents on school property. In other words, school boards would be surrendering their expertise in design decisions as well as their power to impose risk management strategies during the design and construction processes, but still be held accountable for injuries sustained on school grounds. Not only is this bad policy, this uncertainly could result in poor bond ratings for the entire system (poor bond ratings make construction more expensive).
• Checks and balances lead to better decisions. Leaving funding authority with the county commission maintains their control over taxing and bond decisions. Leaving design, construction and maintenance responsibilities with the school board maintains their control over the connection between school facilities and academic factors, student assignment, overcrowding, feeder patterns between grade levels and infrastructure needs to support teachers and students. Neither group holds all the power, resulting in a level of accountability that would disappear under the proposed legislation.
• Politics are contentious enough. Given the division of authority between the school board and the county commission, there's already plenty for them to argue over in budget and bond decisions. This bill does nothing to solve the current challenges and actually makes them worse by removing those responsible for the schools from the process of creating them. In Davie County, just southwest of Winston-Salem, the school district can't get county commissioners to agree to fund the building of a second high school or renovations to the existing high school despite the fact that an independent analysis by the state (and any parent walking into the building) identified a desperate need (more on this from the W-S Journal and a Davie County blogger). 
• Sales tax exemption isn't a good reason. Sen. Hunt argues that school boards pay more for construction because they have to pay sales tax on purchases, while county commissions are exempt. However, until 2005, local boards of education were able to use tax refunds. Many other groups, including cities, counties, public universities, private schools and other non-profits, can apply for a sales tax refund or exemption. If Sen. Hunt really wants to propose a useful bill for education facilities, he and the state legislature could eliminate this change and make local education authorities tax-exempt again.

There is one thing that Sen. Hunt and I agree on: school boards need to be able to focus on education. Unfortunately, he and Senate Bill 236 will cripple their ability to do just that.

Special thanks to Jennifer Brock, a Raleigh-based architect with years of experience in school design and mother of four WCPSS students, for her professional advising on this post.

If you'd like to write to your legislators on this issue, visit Wake Classrooms Count (if you're a Wake County resident) or search for your people here. Or use this list to email the members of the Senate Education Committee: Dan.Soucek@ncleg.net, Jerry.Tillman@ncleg.net, Chad.Barefoot@ncleg.net, Austin.Allran@ncleg.net, Tom.Apodaca@ncleg.net, Tamara.Barringer@ncleg.net, Harry.Brown@ncleg.net, Angela.Bryant@ncleg.net, Bill.Cook@ncleg.net, David.Curtis@ncleg.net, Warren.Daniel@ncleg.net, Don.Davis@ncleg.net, Malcolm.Graham@ncleg.net, Fletcher.Hartsell@ncleg.net, Clark.Jenkins@ncleg.net, Martin.Nesbitt@ncleg.net, Buck.Newton@ncleg.net, Earline.Parmon@ncleg.net, Louis.Pate@ncleg.net, Ron.Rabin@ncleg.net, Gladys.Robinson@ncleg.net, Bob.Rucho@ncleg.net, Josh.Stein@ncleg.net, Jeff.Tarte@ncleg.net, Trudy.Wade@ncleg.net, Mike.Woodard@ncleg.net

Where I attempt to write a post about politics that doesn't offend (too many) people

On Tuesday, I'll be voting for Barack Obama. I can tell by the silence that you're not the least bit surprised.

That's part of why I've been largely absent from Facebook for the past several weeks, except for my Instagram feed and today's shoutout to my amazing husband who ran a half-marathon in under two hours (woot woot!).

But otherwise, I've been intentionally avoiding Facebook for two reasons:

1. I don't want to read all the nastiness that people spew about the candidates they don't like. It doesn't matter what side you're on, I just can't stand the ugly. Not surprisingly, I get more worked up when people are posting lies and absurdities about candidates I support -- but I really can't stand any of it. Cheer for your team, but don't trash the opposition. I'm only on Facebook to see pictures of your kids anyway.
2. I never know when something I post that's related to politics will offend someone else. After the Democratic National Convention, I shared an image of Michelle Obama from a friend's page that I just thought was cool. Turned out that one of my relatives thought it was blasphemous. Oops. Whatever she saw was the total opposite of what I saw, but in her eyes I guess I was just as bad as those referenced in #1 above.

I knew it was time for me to stop engaging in election-related banter when my 80-year-old uncle forwarded an insulting joke about President Obama (and his supporters) to me a couple months ago. I don't know why he sent it because I assume he knows we don't share political views, but he did and it was really stupid and I completely over-reacted by sending him a terse email lecture in reply. Haven't heard from him since because he's probably still laughing too hard at how uppity I got.

At that point I decided I'd do my best to keep my political opinions to myself unless asked for them. Or unless I'm on Twitter and watching the presidential debates, in which case the filters are off but you really don't have to follow me until the mess is over.

So now I'm about to break my rule two days before the election -- but not about the presidential race. I don't believe anything I write about Obama will make you vote for him anymore than putting his campaign in my yard will cause you to suddenly change your mind. (If you are on the fence, I encourage you to read this piece from The New Yorker.)

But I do think the two signs I have posted in my yard might make a difference because they're for local races. In case you live in Wake County and you're still reading my ramblings, here's my two cents:

1. Vote Caroline Sullivan for Wake County Commissioner. She's smart and she gets it. And if elected, she'd be only member of the Board of Commissioners who has children in the Wake County Public School System (they're in middle school). Given the important role that the Commissioners play in providing local funding for public schools, I'd say that's a significant qualification. (You should also vote to re-elect Betty Lou Ward.)
2. Vote Sig Hutchinson for NC Senate. Somehow I got on the GOP mailing list, so I've been getting pummeled with outrageous mailings about how Sig Hutchinson has been raising my taxes. That's pretty impressive given that he hasn't held any office that would give him taxing authority. I know Sig from his great efforts over the years to expand our greenways and public parks. I trust that he'll bring a vision for Wake County and for NC that matches mine -- one that focuses more on quality of life for the state's residents.

If that's not enough opinion-sharing for you, just let me know -- more than happy to overshare and give you all sorts of lectures about why you should vote for Beth Wood (state auditor), June Atkinson (state superintendent of public instruction) and Sam Ervin (NC Supreme Court). But I don't think I can write about those without violating item #1 at the top of the post. So we'll just leave it at that.

Happy voting, y'all.

Friday's 5: Things I Learned on Vacation

We spent last week at the beach. It was glorious -- even with one rainy day and two cloudy days. I won't bore you with the details of drip castles and sunscreen and sand in the bath tub and trying to force Junius to let me take his picture. But I will share with you five random things I learned while at the beach.

1. Good books are even better with cocktails. Before I left for the beach, a friend recommended that I bring a copy of Rules of Civility by Amor Towles. And she suggested that I enjoy a mai tai along with it. Spot on, with both recommendations -- although I'd add a good gin & tonic to the beverage list. As a result, I've decided that all literary selections should come with a drink menu.

2. Some women shave their faces. Not because of a hair issue, but to slough off dead skin cells in order to look younger. And by "some women" I mean someone other than me who may or may not be one of my friends at the beach. I'm not a dermatologist, I haven't tried this, and I'm not making this up -- I'm just sharing. And no, I don't have a picture for this one.

3. Beach olympics are perfect on a cloudy day. You'll be totally jealous when I tell you this, but one of our friends organized "olympic events" including sack races, hula hooping and water balloon tosses -- complete with a hand-stitched olympic flag and "Chariots of Fire" playing in the background. There were also olympic ring tattoos and gold medals for everyone. See? Jealous, right?

4. Dress appropriately for the battleship tour. They don't tell you this on the website for the USS North Carolina, so I'm going to give you the straight truth. We stopped in Wilmington on our way home to tour the WWII battleship. Being an actual battleship, it's very interesting, seriously enormous and crazy hot (no air conditioning) -- all of which they mention on the site. What they don't tell you is that you SHOULD NOT WEAR A SKIRT. My above-the-knee swingy knit skirt was great for the temperatures, but not so smart for climbing up and down the dozens of ladders all over the ship while strangers stand below. Now you know.

5. Popsicles are for breakfast. Or at least they are on check-out day. In year's past, I've always ended up throwing the leftover popsicles in the trash -- not like they're going to survive the trip home in the cooler. This year I was awarded Rock Star Mom status when I handed my kids popsicles and paper towels and sent them out on the deck at 9 a.m. while we packed up the house.

Now it's your turn. What random knowledge have you acquired this summer? Share with us so that all may know...

Heartbroken

I really believed it would all end differently.

Kind of in that way that I believed Pippi would arrive naturally a week before my due date, that Carolina would win the NCAA tournament every year, that every piano contest I played in growing up would net me a superior rating.

But it didn't. And North Carolina broke my heart tonight.

Maybe I shouldn't be surprised -- North Carolina is still a very rural and religiously conservative state. My view from the state's urban areas where I've lived isn't the life that most North Carolinians see every day. Even though the "Vote Against" signs dominated in my neighborhood, apparently we're not as representative of the state as I believed we could be.

So I'm finding solace in the fact that Wake (Raleigh), Durham, Orange (Chapel Hill), Buncombe (Asheville), Mecklenburg (Charlotte), Watauga (Boone) and Chatham (Pittsboro) counties voted down the amendment. I'm focusing on the more than 800,000 people across the state who made their voices heard in opposition on the ballot. I'm remembering the small pleasures of discovering unexpected people who were voting against.

And I'm thinking how, years from now when my children are part of the movement to repeal this ridiculous mess, I'll tell them about tonight and how I believed, how I continued to believe. Then they'll wonder aloud why it took so long. And I'll smile and simply thank them for finally setting things straight.

Pun intended.

Editor's note [May 9, 6:56 a.m.]: Had to adjust the list of counties based on updated vote tallies after I went to bed last night. Sadly Guilford, New Hanover and Forsyth counties swung for the amendment once all votes were counted.

Why You Should Vote Against Amendment One (Even If You're a Christian Republican)

It's time to make me proud, North Carolina. Time to stand up and show the rest of the country -- and the world -- that we're not afraid to vote down a constitutional amendment that does nothing to protect the citizens of this great state. In case you haven't seen it yet, here's the exact wording of the amendment as it appears on the ballot:

Constitutional amendment to provide that marriage between one man and one woman is the only domestic legal union that shall be valid or recognized in this State.

You already know about I feel about this issue -- nothing about same-sex relationships threatens my marriage with my husband. Our wedding vows face a much greater danger from early-rising children and quality television programming.

But perhaps, with all the campaign rhetoric and general election babble, you haven't been able to discern your own opinion on the matter. Lucky for you, I'm here to help.

Here's a checklist to help you know if it's okay for you to VOTE NO on Amendment One. If ANY of the following statements (some of which are mutually exclusive) apply to you, then you should VOTE NO on Tuesday:

• "I believe that marriage should only be legal between one man and one woman -- and I'm glad North Carolina already has an effective law on the books defining marriage that way."
• "I believe that constitutional amendments should be about protecting the rights of law-abiding citizens, not taking them away."
• "I'm opposed to same-sex marriage, but I don't want to take away the option for opposite-sex couples to access the legal benefits of a domestic partnership without getting married."
• "I have a strong religious faith and I firmly believe that Jesus teaches us to be compassionate and kind to all our brothers -- not just some of them."
• "I'm concerned that family law professors from across the state, including the Wake Forest University School of Law, are actively opposed to Amendment One. They worry that the vague and broad language of the amendment, at a minimum, creates dangerous uncertainty into issues of family benefits and protections."
• "When House Speaker Thom Tillis, a primary proponent of Amendment One, says publicly that he believes the amendment will be repealed in 20 years, it sounds like a big waste of time and lots of money. Let's just skip the middle man and vote no."
• "I'm a Republican and generally agree with the politics of people like U.S. Rep. Renee Ellmers, John Hood (president of the John Locke Foundation) and Richard Vinroot, all of whom are opposed to Amendment One."
• "I'm concerned about North Carolina's economy and want to be sure that businesses see our community as a great place to be. If the CEO of Duke Energy thinks that Amendment One will discourage new business from coming to NC, then I'm opposed to it, too."
• "I'm a Democrat and generally agree with the politics of people like Bill Clinton, who is opposed to Amendment One."
• "I think government should be small and should not encroach upon private, personal matters. Marriage should be left to the church, not state government."
• "I believe in the separation of church and state. My church does not recognize same-sex marriage, but it's not something that need to involve the state constitution."
• "I think marriage is seriously hard work -- it's not something that anyone should enter into lightly. If you've got two loving, caring adults who want to commit to spending their lives together, contributing to their community, maybe raising a family, then who am I to stand in their way?"
• "I love Broadway theatre -- especially the smash hit Wicked. If those people are opposed to Amendment One, then so am I!"
• "I don't think gay people are scary. In fact, some of my best friends are gay -- and their weddings were fabulous!"

Okay, so I'm getting a little punchy and tired now, but you get the idea. 

It's time to do the right thing, North Carolina. Vote AGAINST Amendment One on May 8.

Women taking charge. Applications available now.

If you're like me, you regularly find yourself wondering why our elected officials make the decisions they do. And then you may think to yourself, "Why didn't they just ask me? I could have told them a better solution that that."

And if you're even more like me, then you procrastinate right up to a deadline.

If all of that is true, then have I got the deal for you!

It's called the Women in Office Institute and the application deadline is Monday. Ta-da!

The Women in Office Institute is an intensive seven-day residential leadership program that prepares women to seek elected or appointed office. Participants gain an incredible bank of wisdom about the political process and the confidence to explore or pursue governmental leadership. Participants hone their leadership skills, prepare for political campaigning, and develop tools for effective and ethical public service.

Now in its ninth year, the Institute is hosted by the NC Center for Women in Public Service. Featured presenters include state and local elected officials, professors, media experts, leadership trainers, noted political strategists and successful Institute graduates. The seven days take place over two long weekends this summer at William Peace University in Raleigh, NC.

Institute graduates are making a difference in their communities across North Carolina as judges, county commissioners, campaign leaders and public service board members. 

If you are interested in attending the Women in Office Institute, visit www.nccwps.org for more information and an application. Scholarship opportunities and needs-based tuition assistance are available. Application deadline is April 2, 2012. If you can't participate this year, but want to support the cause, you can make a donation on the NCCWPS website.

Marital Threats and How You Can Help

Somehow, I just can't believe that 76-year-old Lennie and 87-year-old Pearl are a threat to my "traditional" marriage.

And yet, conservative politicians, religious leaders and other groups keep trying to convince me that allowing homosexuals to get married threatens the very foundations of the institution of marriage.

Yeah, right.

I'm here to tell you that what threatens my marriage is not the notion that my across-the-street neighbor might one day want to marry his adorable boyfriend, or that my friend a few streets over is planning to have a baby with her girlfriend. And I definitely do not see a clear and present danger in two septuagenarian/octogenarian women who have loved each other faithfully for 45 years while making great contributions to their community and generally being nice people.

If you really must know, here are a few things that are an actual threat to the health of my one-man-one-woman, walked-down-the-aisle, have-a-license-to-prove-it marriage:

1. My children get up absurdly early. Every. Single. Day. My son is up AND DRESSED no later than 6 a.m. Even on Saturdays -- okay, he's still in his pajamas on the weekend, but he's up nonetheless. My daughter, convinced she might miss out on something fun, is up with him at the same time. And they expect to be entertained. Otherwise they start whining and annoying each other.
2. My husband has his own opinions and ideas. I mean, I thought he was just going to agree with me. Who knew he'd have his own vision about decorating the house, planning vacations or scheduling our weekends. Now we have to work together and compromise to get things done -- this means disagreeing sometimes, even arguing or fighting occasionally. After 10 years, there are no deal breakers, but it still takes work.
3. Babysitters can be expensive. In order for us to spend time together without our kids to nurture our relationship, we have to hire a babysitter. Then we have to go somewhere, which means spending more money. Without even doing anything fancy, we can easily spend $100 on a evening out. It might actually be cheaper to go to a marriage counselor who offered childcare in the waiting room than to plan a date night.
4. Social media is a time suck. After the kids go to bed, when we should probably be engaged in quality conversation together, we both tumble down the rabbit hole of Twitter, blogging, Words with Friends, Angry Birds, Pinterest, Gentlemint and a hundred other online traps. Not that there's anything wrong with reading blogs (ahem), but it does keep our focus off of each other.
5. Downton Abbey and Mad Men are too good. Again with the night-time distractions. But seriously -- how can we focus on each other when there's Lady Mary and Don Draper to worry about? Plus there's Modern Family and 30 Rock when we need a laugh, or Psych and White Collar when we want some investigating, or Portlandia when it's time for something random and hilarious. That TiVo box is seriously hazardous to our marital health.
6. The house is not self-cleaning. Even if we manage to turn off the TV and other electronics, there's still the laundry to fold, the dishes to wash, the grass to mow, the bathrooms to clean, the dinner to cook, the lunches to make, the bills to pay, the groceries to buy, the appointments to schedule. It would take six adults running this house in order to free up enough time for us to really stop and just be with each other. Again, Downton Abbey seems like a good idea.

So if you're really serious about wanting to protect North Carolina families and preserve healthy marriages across the state, you have a few options:

a. You can volunteer to babysit my children for the weekend free of charge.
b. You can donate time or money to an organization like Protect NC Families, the Equality NC Foundation, Race to the Ballot or We Are NC -- or attend the Love Wins dance this weekend in Durham.
c. You can make sure you're registered to vote NO on May 8.
d. All of the above.

Just let me know when you're ready to schedule that babysitting weekend.

A Week in My Life: Friday at the Fair

Keeping up with Adventuroo's "A Week in My Life" project. has turned out to be nearly impossible. Too much life happening to have enough time left over for writing about it. But I'm doing what I can -- check out my Monday here and my Tuesday here. Then you'll have a good idea about why I'm so tired.

Friday was no ordinary day. It was Go to the North Carolina State Fair Day.

So for our documentation purposes here, we'll skip over the morning part where I went to work, Pippi went to preschool and Junius went to the office with his Daddy, blah blah blah. Let's jump straight into the crazy fun part....

If you can make it, they can fry it. More on that later, but we just couldn't resist a photo on the way in.

Self-portrait so that my dermatologist will be impressed. The weather was NC perfect on Friday -- but definitely required sunscreen and a hat.

The one ride we all went on together was the Ferris wheel (or, "ferist wheel," as Junius calls it). This unedited photo was taken while we waited in line.

Here are my two dare devils, waiting for the wheel to start turning...

...and here are my white knuckles as I gripped the handle. I was seriously nervous on this ride. My children were not. I spent much of the ride telling them to hold on and sit down. It's been a long, long time since my days on the Carolina Cyclone and Thunder Road.

The view from the top of the Ferris wheel was very cool. But it was hard to grip the handlebar with one hand and take a photo with the other hand without dropping my iPhone.

Some of our beach buddies came into town for the day so they could go to the Fair. And what a bonus for us that we were already planning to go on the same day! Pippi was so happy to see her friend, they kept holding hands and hopping around. So adorable...

Junius really liked controlling the map. I'm not sure how well-developed his sense of direction is, but knowledge is power -- and now that he can read, he really likes having the power tools.

Junius and his beach buddy directed us (more or less -- okay, less) to the animal area, where we watched the sheep getting sheared. The sheep did not seem happy about this plan. The children were mesmerized. I was considering switching to synthetic fabrics.

I don't know what this lovely girl's name is, but she was one of the people showing off recently-sheared sheep in the animal section. She must be really good at it because she had on one hell of a belt buckle. Pippi was jealous.

And here's another celebrity at the Fair -- my friend, the Practical Cook. In addition to being awesome because of her deep and abiding love of cereal, she is also a Deep Fried Ambassador for the NC State Fair. Seriously. She has a media pass and everything. Check out her blog -- including video of her taste tests with deep fried Kool Aid, deep fried bubblegum and the Krispy Kreme burger. I'm not kidding.

Pippi was desperate for ice cream with sprinkles. Not sure you can see it here, but she ended up with sprinkles in her hair because she was so excited.

Thanks to a tip from the Practical Cook, based on her extensive deep fried Fair research, we located the best stand for deep fried Oreos. After sharing a taste with Pippi, she promptly declared the Oreos to be even better than ice cream. If you'd like to hear an on-the-scene description of what it tastes like, check out the video at the end of this post. Here's a peek inside...

While we were indulging, Junius was busy spending the last of his ride tickets (which we bought in advance because they are SO much cheaper that way). He looks kind of serious in this photo, which could be because he takes his fake four-wheeler driving very seriously or might actually be because he is flippin exhausted.

By that point, we had clearly overstayed our welcome at the Fair. Thus, Pippi got carried back down the long and winding path back to the car (free parking at Gate 8, thankyouverymuch) -- first on a mommy piggy-back and then on daddy's shoulders.

And before you get alarmed that I'm not wearing my hat anymore in this photo, rest easy knowing that it was dark out by then. Seriously time to go home -- but worth staying to see the Fair light up as we said farewell until next year.

A Week in My Life: Tuesday

Yes, I know it's Wednesday. But Tuesday was very full and there was no time for blogging -- but lots to document. I'm participating in Adventuroo's "A Week in My Life" project. You can see my Monday here.

Tuesday started painfully early for a good cause. If I look a little blurry in that first picture, it's because I was volunteering at my polling station at 6:30 a.m. in the RAIN in the DARK and I wasn't totally awake yet. The kids joined me at 7:30, mostly playing in the car for my last half hour of greeting. (Translation of J's post-it: "Christine is are [our] school board.") And no, no one wanted my little candidate flier.

Once our shift was up, we headed home to play. Also to lay out the newspaper across the counter because it was somehow soaking wet inside the plastic bag.

At 9:00 we got ready for our friend Baby J, who hangs out with us on Tuesday mornings. That means dumping out an entire basket of toys and then confiscating all the tiny things he might try to eat. We also got our They Might Be Giants station playing on Pandora (via TiVo, which I LOVE). You can see here that we all love Baby J very much. He loves us too, although sometimes I think he'd like a little more personal space.

At 11:00, we loaded up Baby J and took Pippi to her gymnastics class. Baby J took a nap while Junius played games on my iPhone.

After we returned Baby J to his parents, we loaded back into the car with lunch and headed to Daddy's office for flu shots. Junius, apparently exhausted from the morning, gave out along the way. Pippi managed to keep herself awake by singing the entire time.

Junius and I were very brave for our shots (Pippi already got hers at the pediatrician). Then we argued over who would get to push the buttons in the elevator.

On the ride home, we rocked out to one of our most favorite CDs: the aptly-titled Songs Your Mom Will Like by Big Bang Boom. That's Pippi beatboxing and playing the air trumpet on track 14. Buy it now and thank me later.

After a little rest time (read: 30 minutes of TV) at home, we loaded back into the car (are you noticing a theme here?) for some play time at our friends' house. Pippi showed us how she can buckle her own seat belt (which can take up to 5 minutes, depending on the amount of whining involved). We admired our friends' fabulous Halloween decorations, debated the scientific names of toy dinosaurs and generally had a whirlwind of fun.

At 6:00, we picked up Daddy and went out for dinner at a local restaurant that was having a fundraising night for our arts school. Junius impressed his friends by reading all the signs on the way in (yes, first-graders are that cool). The kids played with wikistiks while we waited for our food (smart restaurant), then Pippi cleaned her plate and part of Junius' too. My girl loves some pasta. I had the yummiest bleu cheese mac-n-cheese with bacon -- comfort food on a rainy night.

Back at home, we filled milk cups (I don't know why, but that blue cup is THE ONLY WAY Junius will drink milk and he MUST have it at bedtime every night) and went upstairs for bed. Junius brushed his teeth and protested all the photography. I spray-treated Pippi's shirt (why oh why do I ever buy white shirts for her?) and pondered the need for gender-specific children's toothpaste. Then Daddy showed the kids pictures from his day touring cool Raleigh locations like the science museum and the RBC Center.

It was my turn to read to Pippi. She picked out "The Shy Little Girl," a book I somehow still have from my childhood. I love how much she loves the book, even though parts of it are really dated. The trick to getting Pippi to sleep is to get her to be still -- see how she fidgets with her hands to stay awake?

Finally at 8:00, with both kids asleep, my political junkie husband and I settled in on the couch for election returns. With two laptops, an iPad, an iPhone and the television between us, we stalked the results, read tweets aloud, flipped news channels and cheered for the victory. Who says you can't have champagne on a Tuesday?

And so my day ended where it began -- worn out, but happy to support a great candidate.
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A Week in My Life: Monday

This week I'm participating in Adventuroo's "A Week in My Life" project. In case you wondered what it looks like where I am. Apologies in advance if you're exhausted by Wednesday.

Junius is tracked out this week, so he got to hang out with me at work this morning. Thankfully, he had Daddy's iPad and could watch Toy Story 3 while he ate lunch. He pronounced my office "boring." He's absolutely probably right.

But at least I made a lot of progress on my to-do list today. Turns out that having Junius at my desk is a lot less distracting than having to go to meetings, which were cancelled today.

Even though he got to have pumpkin bread and play with the tape dispenser, Junius was still happy when it was time to leave.

We picked up campaign materials on the way home (the kids and I are volunteering for Christine Kushner at the polls tomorrow!), then went to preschool to get Pippi.

 This is my view in the rearview mirror.

Not sure I'll ever understand why climbing out of the car and carrying your own stuff into the house is so hard. But apparently it is. So. Very. Hard.

Junius's first task after arriving home? Testing out the paper/straw boat he made in my office to see if it would float. Turns out that construction paper? Not so sea-worthy.

Meanwhile, Pippi took control of the iPhone, where she recently discovered the iPod button. She likes to listen to the first 15 seconds of every song. Yes, that's Ben Folds Five. Thankfully it's not one of the songs with the F-bomb.

Here's the bane of my existence. A full dishwasher, waiting to be unloaded. Sort of like Pippi getting out of the car, I don't know why this pains me so. But it does.

While I was unloading said dishwasher, the kids started to get silly. It always begins innocently enough...

...then turns into a wrestling, giggling heap, which is all good and fun until...

...somebody gets poked in the eye...

 ...and (unrelated to the eye wound) someone else lands in time-out.

We ultimately all recovered and were grateful for some playtime outside with our friends across the street. Notice that Junius is travelling sans-training wheels as of yesterday. (Also, if you are a mom with a son, you must take a minute to read my friend's latest post.)

We closed out the day with one of the kids' favorite meals. That is, anything served on the floor in front of the television. Always swore I wouldn't let my kids watch TV during dinner. And yet, here we are. At least we were watching Sesame Street and talking science terms with Grover 2.0.

Good night, y'all. It's been a full day.

P.S. In case you missed the good news on Facebook or Twitter Friday, I got the all clear at the dermatologist! I'm free for another six months. Phew.
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