My Convertible Life

Friday, March 11, 2011

Friday's 5: Movies Not to Watch This Weekend

Now that the Oscars are over and you've made your list of movies you still need to see this spring, I thought I'd help you out. I've only seen two of the movies that were nominated -- The Fighter (love a good boxing movie, plus you can't go wrong when Mark Wahlberg is topless for most of the film) and Toy Story 3 (I laughed, I cried, I wanted to hug my children) -- so I can't give you much feedback on the winners.

Instead, I'll warn you about movies you should NOT watch this weekend. I'm generally open to most movie genres (except for horror, although I do like a good Hitchcock-style suspense film) -- but once in a while I suffer through a movie that just really sucks.

Here, in no particular order, are five of the worst movies I've seen:
  1. Con Air: I like a good summer blockbuster action movie. But not this one. At all. 
  2. Eyes Wide Shut: All hype, no delivery. And not even all that sexy.
  3. Little Children: Far too disturbing to be interesting. Images from this one still haunt me.
  4. Punch-Drunk Love: Great title. Wanted to like this one, but just couldn't find a way to care.
  5. Harry and the Hendersons: The only movie I ever walked out on. I was in high school, so it must have been pretty bad.
Have I offended you by listing your all-time favorite flick here? What disasters would you add to this list?

8 comments:

  1. ConAir was so bad, it made for entertainment. As opposed to a movie like Happiness, which made me want to kill myself. If I couldn't bring myself to go that far, I wanted to kill whoever made that movie for stealing 2 hours of my life! The saddest part was that it is H's favorite and we had only just started dating when he shared it with me. Shocking that I still married him.

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  2. I cannot stand the movie JFK. VERY long and VERY historically inaccurate and, on top of that, boring. I wanted to leave, but I wasn't the driver. This is a fun topic though!
    STK

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  3. ITA on Punch-Drunk Love. Basically anytime Sandler goes dramatic it's a bad idea. Did you expect good things from Harry and the Hendersons? This is an interesting exercise. I don't know if I could come up with my 5 least favorite movies.

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  4. Completely with you on "Eyes Wide Shut" - total crap. I despised "The Piano" which still makes me cringe. OH and that Will Smith movie "I am Legend" that sucked on so many levels. Honestly this is one topic I could go on and on about - ha!

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  5. I saw all the Oscar movies. I love the movies!! So I had to pop in here and offer my 2 cents.

    My Trifecta of Diss today is this: Salt, The Tourist, Wanted. I don't actually hate Angie, I am just deeply affected by how TERRIBLE these 3 were. And I kind of want to punch myself in face every time I see them on my AppleTV list.
    - Salt wanted so bad to be good, I could smell the desperation in every scene.
    - The fact that The Tourist was nominated for anything other than a Razzie is a joke.
    - Wanted was simply masturbation material that gets to sit on the Action shelves rather than behind the red curtain in the DVD shops. Lame lame bj mouth close-up bang bang bad acting bang stab boob punch terrible writing ass boob stab bang.

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  6. I actually felt there wasn't enough shirtlessness in The Fighter, though I loved the movie and am thrilled Bale won for it. Harry and the Hendersons is currently my 3 year old niece's favorite flick. Great list.

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  7. I'm late, but hubby must way in, even though convertible girl not in total agreement:

    1. Mannequin - worst ever. Only movie I have ever walked out of.
    2. Legends of the fall. She should have "done herself in" in the beginning of the movie to save the rest of us the pain. Hopkins was terrible.

    And for the record. I liked Ishtar...

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  8. please forgive the improper "way" and instead replace with "weigh." (I am a dork). And @Jenny, agreed, the metal tap on the piano at the end was slightly obnoxious.

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