Subaru Love

Turns out you can't get a convertible with a third row.

Or at least you can't get one unless you're the guys on Top Gear and you saw the top off of a minivan (or a "people carrier," as they call it). And although the effort is admirable (and the episode linked there is brilliant), that's not so much the look I'm going for.

So today we bought a Subaru. It was love at first drive.

When we went to the dealership over the weekend to test it out, I came armed with two high-back boosters and one regular booster seat. The salesman looked at me like I had three heads instead of three seats, but I was determined to know whether or not they would fit.

Ta-da!

A little snug, but it totally worked. Then Junius proved that having the extra booster seat wedged into the middle wouldn't interfere with his comfort by promptly falling asleep during the test drive. Seriously, he just turns his head to the side and starts snoring.

Four days and several emails later, we were back at the dealership to trade in our Honda Accord and bring home the new car. 

This exchange marked the end of an era -- a decade with a car that saw us from newlyweds to new parents and beyond. It was the first big purchase my husband and I made together, then the first ride to bring home each of our days-old children. It saw us through interstate travels and tiresome commutes and at least a million trips to the grocery store. We have a lot of great memories tied up in that old car. 

But still, who could have predicted this?

That's Pippi trying to be brave while completely falling apart as I tried to take a photo of her and Junius in front of the old car. 

And that's Pippi sobbing on her daddy's shoulder while we wait on the paperwork. She cried for the better part of 20 minutes, only stopping to tell us that she wanted to keep the Honda until we died. (She's also wearing a turtleneck on an 85-degree day, but that's fodder for a different blog.)

It's hard to explain to a four-year-old that it's a good thing when we out-live our cars.

Junius managed to hold it together until we were pulling away in the new car. He teared up, looking over his shoulder as we left the Honda behind in the parking lot. Thanks to some Rock-O-Matic on the fabulous new stereo, he found his smile until bedtime, when more crying over the long-lost Honda ensued.

Who knows why they're suddenly so attached to a car that was slowly but surely falling apart from more than 137,000 miles worth of serious use -- maybe they're soft-hearted, nostalgic people or maybe they never realized that getting a new car meant giving up the old one. Maybe they just don't like change, even when it involves an upgrade. I really don't know.

What I do know is that, even though it's not a convertible, I'm going to love driving this Subaru.

Share your story... What car do you still remember saying good-bye to? Or how did your kids react when you bought a new family car?

Make CF Stand for "Cure Found" for Super Dylan!

Adapted from a post May 17, 2011 -- We'll be walking in the Great Strides walk again this Saturday with the Super Dylan Team!


You may remember that I'm not a fan of NPR's pledge drive, but apparently it works because they keep on doing it over and over and over and over again. And again.

So it's pledge drive time again here at My Convertible Life -- we're raising funds for the Super Dylan Team and the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation's Great Strides walk. I'll be walking this Saturday in Raleigh with the fam and we need your support.

If you already know about Dylan and want to make a gift, you can stop reading now, click here to give online and feel confident that your money is going to a great cause.

If you don't know about Dylan or about cystic fibrosis, here are some old posts you can read to learn to more about one of Junius' best buddies and his battle against this chronic illness:

• Donate for Super Dylan (background post)
• For Super Dylan's Mom (because to know her is to love her)
• Friday's 5: Why You Should Donate for Super Dylan (in case you need a list)
• The Longest-Lived Survivor (to see why research can make a difference)

Now click on over and help us ensure that Dylan has lots more afternoons of slip-n-sliding with Junius and Pippi. And thanks in advance for your gift!

Heartbroken

I really believed it would all end differently.

Kind of in that way that I believed Pippi would arrive naturally a week before my due date, that Carolina would win the NCAA tournament every year, that every piano contest I played in growing up would net me a superior rating.

But it didn't. And North Carolina broke my heart tonight.

Maybe I shouldn't be surprised -- North Carolina is still a very rural and religiously conservative state. My view from the state's urban areas where I've lived isn't the life that most North Carolinians see every day. Even though the "Vote Against" signs dominated in my neighborhood, apparently we're not as representative of the state as I believed we could be.

So I'm finding solace in the fact that Wake (Raleigh), Durham, Orange (Chapel Hill), Buncombe (Asheville), Mecklenburg (Charlotte), Watauga (Boone) and Chatham (Pittsboro) counties voted down the amendment. I'm focusing on the more than 800,000 people across the state who made their voices heard in opposition on the ballot. I'm remembering the small pleasures of discovering unexpected people who were voting against.

And I'm thinking how, years from now when my children are part of the movement to repeal this ridiculous mess, I'll tell them about tonight and how I believed, how I continued to believe. Then they'll wonder aloud why it took so long. And I'll smile and simply thank them for finally setting things straight.

Pun intended.

Editor's note [May 9, 6:56 a.m.]: Had to adjust the list of counties based on updated vote tallies after I went to bed last night. Sadly Guilford, New Hanover and Forsyth counties swung for the amendment once all votes were counted.

Why You Should Vote Against Amendment One (Even If You're a Christian Republican)

It's time to make me proud, North Carolina. Time to stand up and show the rest of the country -- and the world -- that we're not afraid to vote down a constitutional amendment that does nothing to protect the citizens of this great state. In case you haven't seen it yet, here's the exact wording of the amendment as it appears on the ballot:

Constitutional amendment to provide that marriage between one man and one woman is the only domestic legal union that shall be valid or recognized in this State.

You already know about I feel about this issue -- nothing about same-sex relationships threatens my marriage with my husband. Our wedding vows face a much greater danger from early-rising children and quality television programming.

But perhaps, with all the campaign rhetoric and general election babble, you haven't been able to discern your own opinion on the matter. Lucky for you, I'm here to help.

Here's a checklist to help you know if it's okay for you to VOTE NO on Amendment One. If ANY of the following statements (some of which are mutually exclusive) apply to you, then you should VOTE NO on Tuesday:

• "I believe that marriage should only be legal between one man and one woman -- and I'm glad North Carolina already has an effective law on the books defining marriage that way."
• "I believe that constitutional amendments should be about protecting the rights of law-abiding citizens, not taking them away."
• "I'm opposed to same-sex marriage, but I don't want to take away the option for opposite-sex couples to access the legal benefits of a domestic partnership without getting married."
• "I have a strong religious faith and I firmly believe that Jesus teaches us to be compassionate and kind to all our brothers -- not just some of them."
• "I'm concerned that family law professors from across the state, including the Wake Forest University School of Law, are actively opposed to Amendment One. They worry that the vague and broad language of the amendment, at a minimum, creates dangerous uncertainty into issues of family benefits and protections."
• "When House Speaker Thom Tillis, a primary proponent of Amendment One, says publicly that he believes the amendment will be repealed in 20 years, it sounds like a big waste of time and lots of money. Let's just skip the middle man and vote no."
• "I'm a Republican and generally agree with the politics of people like U.S. Rep. Renee Ellmers, John Hood (president of the John Locke Foundation) and Richard Vinroot, all of whom are opposed to Amendment One."
• "I'm concerned about North Carolina's economy and want to be sure that businesses see our community as a great place to be. If the CEO of Duke Energy thinks that Amendment One will discourage new business from coming to NC, then I'm opposed to it, too."
• "I'm a Democrat and generally agree with the politics of people like Bill Clinton, who is opposed to Amendment One."
• "I think government should be small and should not encroach upon private, personal matters. Marriage should be left to the church, not state government."
• "I believe in the separation of church and state. My church does not recognize same-sex marriage, but it's not something that need to involve the state constitution."
• "I think marriage is seriously hard work -- it's not something that anyone should enter into lightly. If you've got two loving, caring adults who want to commit to spending their lives together, contributing to their community, maybe raising a family, then who am I to stand in their way?"
• "I love Broadway theatre -- especially the smash hit Wicked. If those people are opposed to Amendment One, then so am I!"
• "I don't think gay people are scary. In fact, some of my best friends are gay -- and their weddings were fabulous!"

Okay, so I'm getting a little punchy and tired now, but you get the idea. 

It's time to do the right thing, North Carolina. Vote AGAINST Amendment One on May 8.

Friday's 5: Book Recommendations for Grown-Ups

Some friends recently complained that I post favorite children's book titles, but not lists of favorite books for grown-ups.

This is not true, I said. I have posts about grown-up books. There just aren't many of them.

I don't read nearly as much as I'd like to these days because I'm still not good at pacing out a book -- and it's hard to ignore my job, family and house ALL the time in order to immerse myself in everything I want to read. So I find myself reading The New Yorker (occasionally) and blogs (sometimes) and the newspaper (most days).

So, in case you missed those few moments where I did actually list some books for grown-ups, here they are:

1. Bibliophile: My personal history with reading.
2. American Lit 101: Books you should have read in high school or college, but they're worth reading again.
3. What I Read in 2010: Okay, so some of them I listened to, but we take what we can get.
4. Short Good Reads: Short stories, because you don't always have time to binge read a whole novel.
5. Good Reads: Five favorites from my high school and college days that I'd read again if I didn't have 4,782 new books still on my to-read list for the first time.

And because it's been awhile since I've had a Friday's 5 (and because I'm posting this on Saturday anyway), I'll give you a double (which technically makes it 10, I realize, but Friday's 10 loses the alliteration and I do so love alliteration). Here are the five books I've read so far in 2012:

1. The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins: I was late to the Hunger Games bandwagon, but once I jumped on there was no turning back. Dropped everything else to finish this one in just under two days. My primary recommendation is that you shouldn't start reading it until you can disappear for about 24 hours. Also, you have to read it through your 14-year-old self instead of your mom-self who naturally worries about all the children.
2. Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins: Book two in the series -- not quite as good as the first, but still worth reading.
3. Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins: Book three in the series -- wraps up a little more neatly at the end than I think I wanted it to, but maybe I was just sad that it was over.
4. Diary of an American Au Pair by Marjorie Leet Ford: This one I actually did read piecemeal at a chapter or two a night. It was good enough to finish, but not so good that I devoured it. Probably enjoyed it more because I've lived in the UK and understand the fish-out-of-water feeling of being there.
5. Let the Great World Spin by Colum McCann: Really, really good book that I got from my dad's bookcase. Takes place in 1974 when Philippe Petit completed his surprise high-wire walk between the Twin Towers in New York. The book isn't so much about Petit as it is about the seemingly unrelated and then magically intertwined stories of other New Yorkers who were there at the same time. In some ways, it's a 9/11 novel that isn't about 9/11. Best to read this one when you can get 75 pages in before you have to take a break.

What are you reading now? Or what favorite can you share from your reading list? Leave a note in the comments to let us know.

Recipe: Brussels Sprouts and Carrots

My friend over at Pretty*Swell is working hard to eat healthy -- not only is she doing a great job, she's sharing her tasty recipes with the rest of us. Her recipe from earlier this week inspired me to share this one for brussels sprouts and carrots -- a friend brought it to a group dinner a few years ago and everyone loved it. I've made it instead of green beans for Christmas the past two years with great success, but Suzanne's post reminded me that sprouts aren't just for the holidays.

Ingredients:

• 2 tablespoons chopped shallot (or use a little onion and a little garlic, if that's what you have on hand)
• 3 tablespoons unsalted butter, divided (I generally have pretend butter in the house -- or "oleo," as my grandmother called it -- and it works just fine)
• 1 pound carrots, cut diagonally into 1/2-inch-thick pieces
• 1 pound brussels sprouts, halved lengthwise
• 1/3 cup water
• 1 tablespoon cider vinegar

 Directions:

1. Cook shallot in 2 tablespoons butter in a 12-inch heavy skillet over medium-high heat, stirring occasionally, until softened, 1 to 2 minutes. 
2. Add carrots, brussels sprouts, 3/4 teaspoon salt, and 1/2 teaspoon pepper and cook, stirring occasionally, until vegetables begin to brown, 3 to 4 minutes.
3. Add water and cover skillet, then cook over medium-high heat until vegetables are tender, 5 to 8 minutes. 
4. Stir in vinegar, remaining tablespoon butter, and salt and pepper to taste.

Cooking note: Vegetables can be cut 1 hour ahead and kept at room temperature. They also keep well for leftovers in the fridge.

Word nerd note: You'll sometimes see "Brussels sprout"spelled with a capital "B," but I've opted for the lower case here. In general, style manuals prescribe a streamlined style for capitalization of words derived from proper names but used with a specialized meaning. This means that regardless of the style manual you consult (I like AP, myself), you are likely to decide to lowercase the "B" in brussels sprouts just like with the initial "F" in french fries. In case you were wondering. [Puts Grammar Police badge back in pocket.]

Have a favorite healthy veggie side dish recipe? Share it with us in the comments, please!

Redshirting in Kindergarten

High on my long list of worries as a mom was when to let Junius start kindergarten.

When he was born in early July, North Carolina's kindergarten cut-off date was in mid-October -- no reason for worry. But a couple years later, the state shifted the line to the end of August. Suddenly my summer baby was on track to be among the youngest kids in his class.

During his two-year-old preschool class, I met several moms who were already planning on holding their sons (and it's almost always sons) for an extra year of preschool because their birthdays were in (...wait for it...) APRIL. Under that plan, if Junius started school on time, he'd be 15 months younger than those kids in his class.

Ugh.

A year later, we moved and nearly all of Junius' friends -- even those with August birthdays -- started school on time. He was ready to go to kindergarten, and his preschool teacher confirmed that there was no reason to hold him back. Now as a fourth-quarter first-grader, he's doing fine, both socially and academically.

I'm not the first parent to wrestle with when to start my child in kindergarten -- and I certainly won't be the last. This article in the LA Times or this piece from a March episode of 60 Minutes show what a widespread issue redshirting has become. For some families, in the words of the 60 Minutes producer, deciding when to start your child in kindergarten feels like a bigger decisions than selecting a college.

So here's my caveat before I climb on my soapbox (you knew the soapbox was coming out, right?): All parents have to make decisions based on what is best for their family and for their children. Period. I fully recognize that the criteria I use for making those decisions may not apply in the same way for your family.

And now for the soapbox: Redshirting feels like an arms race. You have a child with an August birthday and you don't want him to be the youngest kid there, so you hold him back a year and he's 13 months older than his youngest classmate. So another mom gets nervous about that and she holds back her July baby and so her friend holds back his June baby and before you know it there's an 18-month age spread in one class.

Fast-forward a few months into kindergarten -- the kid who started at age 5 is just learning to read, while his classmate who started at age 6 1/2 is bored with early readers. Now the teacher in that classroom has to differentiate instruction across an even wider spectrum, making an already tough job even more challenging.

Redshirting is also an arms race in which only those with the luxury of child care can afford to participate. Holding your child out of public school for an extra year means that you can afford to stay home with that child or put that child in a private preschool or daycare.

The research on whether there's a real and lasting impact from school-start age is split. But I question how any study that examines the results for students who start on time versus those who start late can separate out other factors like family income, parent education levels and the like -- because if low-income families (which often corresponds with lower parent education levels) can't afford to redshirt their kids, then there's no way know what differences are caused by redshirting and what is simply the result of having parents with the resources to give a child every possible advantage.

The bottom line? Unless your child has a true disability -- like a physical impairment, cognitive disability or emotional delay -- then the cut-off date applies to you and you should abide by it. The date is arbitrary and it varies by state, but it's there for a reason. Worrying that your child might be smaller than the other kids in his class or might not be the fastest reader in her class are not legitimate reasons for holding them back. Kindergarten is all about growth -- while they're in school, they'll get taller, they'll learn, they'll develop, right along with their classmates.

And if you want to avoid the issue altogether, invest in some serious family planning to ensure that your baby is born in January.

___ . ___

Okay, I'm off the soapbox now and bracing myself for the hate mail. What about you? Have you faced this issue with your kids? Or were you the youngest or oldest in your class growing up? Leave a comment to let us know your thoughts.