My Convertible Life

Friday, August 19, 2011

Friday's Five: Worst Things Your Kids Say in the Car

We'll be heading out on our annual beach trip later this month. I'm already counting down the minutes to sand in my toes, salty breeze in my hair and a ProCo shrimp burger in my mouth.

But before we arrive at the beach, we have to survive the car trip. Thankfully we're past the stop-in-the-empty-community-college-parking-lot-to-nurse stage and the frantically-grope-around-the-rear-facing-seat-to-find-the-pacie stage. They entertain each other more than they used to -- and more often than not, they'll sleep through part of the drive.

But there are still some phrases that I hate to hear come from the back seat while we're driving. There's the classic "Are we there yet?" -- usually first uttered as we turn left out of our neighborhood. And then there are these winners:
  1. "Mommy, I have a booger." Usually followed by the sound of my husband gagging. At least I've got tissues stashed in the glove box. The trick is to get the tissue around the kid's finger before said booger gets wiped on (ahem) something else.
  2. "My mouth is itchy. Is there peanut butter in this?" When your son is allergic to peanuts and you're 30 miles from the nearest hospital, the last thing you want in the car is a reaction.
  3. "She won't let me look out her window." Really? And how, pray tell, is she stopping you from pointing your open eyes toward the expanse of glass wrapping around our car?
  4. "I have to poop. Now." Usually yelled about 3 minutes after we leave the rest area. This is the primary downside of children who are potty trained. 
  5. "I can't see the movie on my screen." For some reason, one of the screens in our two-screen car DVD player set is showing up strangely green and kind of dark. I do not know why and cannot seem to fix it. And seriously, I spent HOURS in the car as a kid with NO TV and NO BOOKS (car sickness is a bitch) and I survived. Get over it, kid. 
So how about you? What car comments make you want to pull over at the next exit and hitchhike back home?


  1. Ha! How did we make it, no video in the car, those 10 hour drives to somewhere dusty and hot?!

  2. My husband is a total booger phobe. I don't help by saying things like, "Nice one! That's HUGE!"

  3. When I have to put their seats right next to each other, with no extra seat (ie: Switzerland) between them?
    She's touching me/He's poking me/ She's pinching me/he's squeezing my hand, etc
    Like a slappy, hair-pulling bitch fight in my backseat. God help me.


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