Friday's 5: Parents Say the Strangest Things

Before I became a parent, I almost never said things like "Do you need help wiping your bottom?" or "I'm going to count to three" or "Has anyone seen the pink sippy cup?" or "Use your words, please." But after I became a parent, these phrases -- and hundreds of others like them -- have taken up residence in my daily lexicon.

Even still, there are some phrases that I could not have predicted. Those groups of words that, once they've left my mouth, cause me to pause and realize how strange life can get with there are two small children in it.

Here are five zingers that I've said to my children in the past year -- I'd explain the context for you, but that would take all the fun out of it:

1. Put that down -- Jesus is not a drumstick.
2. Do not brush your teeth with the geraniums.
3. Come out from under the bed and bring the eggplant with you.
4. Look, there's a mermaid in your toes.
5. No lawn mowers in the house, please.

How about you -- what are your winning parenting phrases?