For years, I've wanted a wife.
Ever since I read Judy Brady's famous 1971 essay from Ms. Magazine -- and then taught it to baffled high school students who wondered if the author was a lesbian -- I've loved the idea of hiring my own wife. As Brady pointed out, who wouldn't want someone else to clean the house, cook dinner, do the laundry and meet your every need?
So this spring, when I started working a regular paying gig again, my first order of business was to find a good wife. My budget wouldn't allow the full capital-W-Wife treatment, so I had to scale back a bit. A couple of hours each week with Ms. Mary gets me vacuumed floors, cleaned bathrooms and dusted furniture, and that is enough to make a big difference.
But what elevates Ms. Mary from cleaning crew to wife status at our house is that she's also a gourmet cookie baker. So when Junius found a picture from a magazine about how to make cupcakes that look like the LGMs (little green men) from Toy Story, I turned to Ms. Mary for help. And ta-da... the perfect finale to one five-year-old Toy Story 3-themed birthday party.
Having a wife rocks -- and it makes being a wife and mother a whole lot more manageable.