But just in case it does (which it won't), here are the when-pigs-fly signs that proved the end was near (even though it isn't, but if it does, then I totally called it so there):
- I've finished my Christmas shopping. It's only Dec. 20 and I'm done -- still waiting for a couple of gifts to arrive in the post, but everything is purchased and on the way. I've even wrapped most everything already. This is highly unusual.
- I've been exercising. That fact alone isn't crazy, but I've been exercising regularly since this summer. Not only that, but I've been regularly working out with friends at the school track three times a week, including a 5:45 a.m. boot camp on Wednesdays. In case you missed it, that was ante meridiem. Even when it's dark and cold outside. This has never happened before. Ever.
- I read 12 books this year (not counting children's books), plus one that I listened to. And only four of them are considered young adult literature (and none of them involved 50 shades of anything). That's a more than 200 percent increase over last year, and I've still got time to read more over the holidays. This is a positive trend. (Next on my list, coincidentally, is The Last Myth: What the Rise of Apocalyptic Thinking Tells Us About America by my long-time friend, Mel Gilles, and her husband Mathew Gross).
- I bought skinny pants. I know the rest of you have been wearing them for ages, but I just bought my first pair in November. They feel a little ridiculous and I can barely get them over my calves, but at least I'm attempting to be on trend. If nothing else, my husband seems to enjoy the view.
- I just let my son ride off on his own. Granted, I watched him and his little bike almost the whole way, until he disappeared around the corner to the friend's house that's all of two blocks from our house. And yes, I did call to be sure he arrived safely. But he went on his own. Someone hold me, please.