My Convertible Life

Thursday, August 20, 2009

You Might Be Cute, But Your Sh*t Still Stinks

When Junius was about 10 weeks old, we took him to my cousin's wedding. Because he was prone to spitting up in quantities that defied his tiny body, I didn't dress him in his fancy clothes until we were in the church parking lot -- didn't want to ruin the look. It was one of those beautiful white, pintuck oufits that requires ironing and has impossibly tiny buttons up the back -- one that my husband had worn when he was a baby and his mother saved for us. Completely impractical, but Junius looked so sweet.

So sweet, that is, until his enormous pooplosion leaked out all over the fancy clothes (did I mention it was white?) and onto my husband's suit. Thankfully, we had a change of clothes in the car so that Junius didn't stink at the reception (see photo of him dancing with Nanna) -- and that turned out to be the worst of Juni's poop messes, even counting potty-training last year.

Pippi, however, is another story.

Today, when she woke up from her afternoon nap and started crying for me to come get her, I was on the phone with her Daddy. Apparently, in the few minutes it took for me to get upstairs, she had despaired of ever being rescued and decided to stage a protest... by removing her diaper, squatting on her blanket for a poop, and then smearing it all over everything in her crib. Seriously -- her diaper was clean, but her sheets, blankets, lovey, books and stuffed animals were covered in shit (pardon my French).

After scrubbing her down in the tub, putting on a dry diaper and taking her downstairs to play with her brother, I headed back upstairs to deal with everything in the crib (did I mention it was even on the books? and the pashmina blanket that we got as a gift for Junius and I never let him touch it but thought it was so sweet and girlie for her to have her own baby pashmina?).

I'll spare you the details from here (and be grateful I didn't stop in the midst of all the crap to take a photo -- you don't want to know). But I'm hoping against hope that this is Pippi's one poop disaster. Is it a bad sign that I'm already afraid about potty training with her?

Now it's your turn to share a poop disaster story so that I can feel better (or at least not alone) about my parenting. And feel free to make your own puns about hitting the fan.

15 comments:

  1. My friend Kristi has twin girls and last year they went throught this same phase for about three months... both at the same time... She would sit outside their door wating to see if she could catch them in action as soon as they woke up but they were so quiet about the deal that she could never catch them, not once!!! Poop everywhere just as you described times 2 every day for three months!!!! Its over now, just in time for her not to loose her mind...

    So either hold on to your hat, cause you might be in for a few weeks of fun and games!!! But hopefully for your sanity, it will be a one time deal and its done... :) So sorry!!! My heart goes out to you really!

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  2. Yep, I've been there. Luckily Linus didn't turn it into a work of art. Probably only because he didn't catch it in time.

    http://unst.blogspot.com/2008/09/diaper-disaster.html

    Was it all washable or did you have to throw some stuff out?

    -Abby

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  3. that is certainly not what you're expecting at the end of naptime... usually everyone is refreshed and relaxed...

    O.k. some of this story I haven't even confessed yet, and I wasn't there to witness the event. One afternoon at the park, back when Mari was still in diapers, I let her have several (?) prunes... I was so happy she was actually eating a fruit (she doesn't like fruits or veggies much) that I didn't carefully monitor the quantity. That evening my husband was taking the kids to his sister's, an hour away from Raleigh. Mari had a poopbomb that exploded all over her carseat and clothes. My husband could smell it and went down a side road in the country in hopes of finding a bathroom... and ran out of gas (!) in the parking lot of an empty-at-the-time volunteer fire station. He had to call my brother-in-law to come bring him some gas, and then try to clean Mari up a bit with a fresh diaper. When he got to their house he had to bathe Mari and hose down the carseat. He was traumatized. Meanwhile, I was headed for a girl's night out :)

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  4. Don't remember any poop disasters, but one daughter had MAJOR spit-up issues...... The worst day was when some friends were visiting. I had just finished nursing my daughter when our friend insisted on playing a variety of jiggly, bouncy, games with her. Well, we warned him, but he insisted. Daughter covered this friend with incredible amounts of spit-up. A real gem of a Vesuvius! We had no idea she could even hold this much in her little belly.
    Fortunately we were able to find a spare shirt for our friend- AND we remain friends still after more than 20 years.

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  5. Luckily we haven't had a situation like that yet. I say yet because well she's ony 14 months old. But up until she was about 8 months old she had the worst acid reflux and she threw up constantly (I had to throw clothes away - MY clothes). The fact that she gained weight still amazes me. There is not a part of this house that didn't get hit with some sort of barf - seriously. We called her the little puker. She even threw up on her pediatrician, she got him good, really good!

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  6. You know both of my ladies scrubbed the spokes of their cribs with the stuff... and it was the only time I felt justified to throw away 'Goodnight Moon' with no guilt.

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  7. You have GOT to be kidding. That is exactly how I found CC yesterday after his nap. Luckily his stuffed animals were spared except for Grover, who had managed to grab a handful.

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  8. How about the poop that sprays out while you are changing the diaper? We've had those. And of course, the diaper that falls off, gets stepped on and then you get little poopy foot prints all over the floor...

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  9. We've had a very similar episode with our 23 month old - let's just say it only has happened once - and now when I hear him on the monitor saying "digging" - I know to run upstairs and get him before he does any damage!!!

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  10. Hilarious . . . guess this is what we have to look forward to, huh?!!

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  11. I just reread this and it made me think about your post about the Pool Manager's email. That was a classic!

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  12. Congrats on all your blog notoriety. I'll add more chatter so more of your wisdom can get out there...yay for TRACKS!

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  13. Ugh. So far, Sam has not yet taken off his diaper by himself, but I'm knocking on lots of wood as I write this. My worst poo event, I think, was either the airborne poo that got on the hotel sheets (sorry, Hampton Inn), or the one and only time I attempted to take a bath with Sam and he dropped a twozer in there with me. Not to mention that Damon has taken at least 100 baths with Sam and never had the same experience.

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  14. This never happened to me, but I had a friend whose son was so interested in things scatalogical that she took to putting him in three onsies before naptime. She figured the more layers he had to penetrate, the greater chance she had of a clean crib!

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  15. Chuck was enamored with your tale and his devotion to Pippi remains unwavering... I, on the other hand, may have to think long and hard about our future mother-in-law/daughter-in-law relationship if she continues on this course of poo inspired interior decorating ;)

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